Why Being Interested Beats Being Interesting

Many professionals assume that becoming a better communicator means becoming more interesting.

They focus on telling better stories, projecting more confidence, sharing sharper insights, and finding the perfect words.

Those skills certainly have value.

But the strongest communicators understand something more fundamental: being interested in other people is often more powerful than trying to be interesting yourself.

In this episode of Communicast: A Communication Skills Podcast, Scott D’Amico speaks with Grant “Upbeat” Bosnick, leadership expert, executive coach, keynote speaker, former professional musician, and founder of YES! Empowering Solutions.

Their conversation explores listening, leadership, trust, responsiveness, influence, and why human connection matters even more in the age of artificial intelligence.

Great Communicators Are Great Connectors

Grant shared that he once believed great communicators were simply great talkers.

Over time, his perspective changed.

Great communicators are not necessarily the loudest, most charismatic, or most polished people in the room. They are the people who help others feel understood.

Communication is not measured only by what leaves your mouth. It is measured by what lands in another person’s mind and heart.

That shift changes the goal of communication.

Instead of asking, “How can I impress this person?” a strong communicator asks:

• What matters to this person?
• What are they trying to communicate?
• What concerns are beneath their words?
• How can I help them feel heard?
• What would make this conversation valuable for them?

That is the difference between performing communication and creating connection.

Being Interesting Has a Time and Place

Being interesting is not a bad thing.

There are moments when communicators need to command attention.

A keynote speaker needs to engage an audience. A salesperson needs to make a compelling case. A leader presenting a new strategy needs to communicate with clarity, confidence, and energy.

In those moments, strong executive presence can help a communicator hold attention and make a message more memorable.

But not every conversation is a performance.

In coaching conversations, discovery meetings, feedback sessions, and one-on-one discussions, trying to be the most interesting person can become a barrier.

It can cause people to interrupt, dominate the conversation, or focus so heavily on preparing their next response that they miss what the other person is saying.

Effective communicators know when to step forward and when to create space for someone else.

Are You Listening with Your Mouth Open?

Grant described a habit he recognized earlier in his career: listening with his mouth open.

He was physically present, but he was not truly listening. He was waiting for the other person to stop talking so he could share what he believed was the more important point.

Many people communicate this way without realizing it.

They lean forward, open their mouths, raise a finger, or search for the first available pause so they can jump in.

Their attention is focused on responding rather than understanding.

Grant began practicing listening with his mouth closed. He would not speak until the other person had completed the thought.

That seemingly small physical adjustment helped him become more patient, attentive, and curious.

It also illustrates an important principle: listening is not passive.

Strong listening requires discipline.

It requires communicators to manage distractions, quiet their internal response, observe body language, and resist the impulse to immediately offer an opinion or solution.

Interested Leaders Help Other People Shine

Grant used the conductor of an orchestra as a metaphor for leadership.

The conductor is the only person in the orchestra who does not make a sound.

Yet the conductor plays a critical role in helping everyone else create something powerful together.

Leaders can approach communication the same way.

They do not always need to be the person with the loudest voice, the quickest answer, or the strongest opinion.

Sometimes, the leader’s role is to listen to the different voices in the room, recognize how the ideas fit together, and help the group create something greater than any individual could create alone.

This is especially important for senior leaders who may feel pressure to always have the answer.

Strong executive communication is not demonstrated only by speaking with authority. It is also demonstrated by creating an environment where others feel comfortable contributing ideas, raising concerns, and challenging assumptions.

Curiosity Builds Trust and Psychological Safety

Interested communicators create trust because they signal that other people’s ideas and experiences matter.

They ask questions before making assumptions.

They invite input instead of immediately giving instructions.

They seek to understand concerns before trying to eliminate them.

These behaviors contribute to psychological safety, an environment where people feel comfortable speaking honestly, asking questions, sharing ideas, and acknowledging mistakes.

That safety is particularly important during periods of rapid change.

When organizations introduce new technology, restructure teams, or change how work gets done, employees naturally have questions.

They may be wondering:

• How will this affect my role?
• Will my skills still be valuable?
• Is the organization telling me the whole story?
• Will I have an opportunity to provide input?
• Can I safely express my concerns?

Leaders who focus only on delivering an interesting presentation about the benefits of change may miss those underlying concerns.

Interested leaders anticipate the questions, invite discussion, and address the human impact of the change.

Why Responsiveness Builds Trust

Grant also shared the results of research he conducted on building trust while working remotely.

He expected qualities such as empathy, authenticity, and psychological safety to rank near the top.

Instead, responsiveness emerged as the strongest factor.

This makes sense when we consider the message responsiveness sends.

When someone replies promptly, acknowledges a request, or provides a clear timeline for a response, the other person feels valued.

Responsiveness communicates:

• I saw your message.
• Your question matters.
• I respect your time.
• You can count on me.

Being responsive does not mean every message requires an immediate, detailed answer.

A simple acknowledgment can often preserve trust:

“Thanks for sending this. I need some time to review it and will get back to you by tomorrow afternoon.”

That message is more reassuring than silence because it gives the other person clarity and confirms that the communication was received.

Responsiveness Should Not Replace Thoughtfulness

There is also a potential downside to responsiveness.

Communicators can become so focused on replying quickly that they do not give important messages enough thought.

A simple scheduling question may require only a quick answer.

A proposal, difficult feedback message, strategic recommendation, or sensitive client response may benefit from additional reflection.

Strong communicators balance speed with judgment.

They respond quickly when the answer is straightforward, acknowledge the message when more time is needed, and slow down when the communication deserves careful consideration.

The goal is not to be the fastest person in the conversation.

The goal is to remain dependable without sacrificing quality.

Influence Starts with Understanding What Others Want

Grant summarized effective influence with a simple principle:

If you want to get what you want, help other people get what they want.

That requires genuine interest.

You cannot effectively influence someone without understanding their priorities, pressures, motivations, and desired outcomes.

Too many communicators begin with their own message.

They explain what they want, why they want it, and why the other person should agree.

Interested communicators begin somewhere else.

They seek to understand the other person’s perspective first.

This is one of the foundations of Persuasive Dialogue. Ethical influence is not about pressuring someone into a decision. It is about finding alignment between what matters to you and what matters to the other person.

When both parties benefit, influence becomes collaborative rather than manipulative.

Take Off Your Own Shoes First

People are often encouraged to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

Grant added an important step: before you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes, you need to take off your own.

That means temporarily setting aside your assumptions, priorities, and interpretation of the situation.

It requires asking questions such as:

• What might this situation look like from their perspective?
• What information do they have that I may not have?
• What pressures or risks are influencing their position?
• What outcome are they trying to achieve?
• What might I be overlooking?

This does not mean abandoning your own goals.

It means understanding the full picture before deciding how to communicate.

That understanding helps communicators choose better examples, frame messages more effectively, and identify solutions that work for everyone involved.

Human Communication Matters More in the Age of AI

As artificial intelligence becomes more integrated into the workplace, organizations are beginning to imagine teams composed of both people and AI agents.

Technology may complete tasks faster, analyze more information, and automate many routine activities.

But those capabilities do not eliminate the need for human communication.

They make it more important.

Employees need leaders who can explain why technology is being introduced, how it will be used, what it means for their roles, and what protections are in place.

They also need opportunities to express concerns and receive honest answers.

Grant shared an example of creating an AI-supported workflow that completed a task much faster than one of his team members.

After discussing the situation with a friend, he realized the employee might be concerned about job security.

He reached out and clarified that the workflow was designed to save time and allow both of them to focus on higher-value work.

The reassurance mattered because it addressed the concern the employee had not initially expressed.

This is what interested leadership looks like during change.

It goes beyond explaining what the technology can do. It considers what people may be thinking and feeling as a result.

Listen with Your Heart

Near the end of the conversation, Grant shared advice he received from a mentor: people have two ears and one mouth because they should listen twice as much as they speak.

He then added a visual interpretation.

When two ears are placed together, they resemble a heart.

The lesson is simple: listen with your ears, but also listen with your heart.

That means listening for more than information.

It means listening for emotion, uncertainty, enthusiasm, resistance, and the meaning beneath the words.

It also means demonstrating through your response that you genuinely care about what the other person shared.

Final Thoughts

Being interesting can capture attention.

Being interested builds connection.

Interested communicators listen without preparing their next interruption.

They create space for others to contribute.

They respond in ways that make people feel valued.

They understand another person’s goals before trying to influence them.

And they consider how their message will land, not only how it will sound when delivered.

Great communication is not always about saying more.

Sometimes, it begins with closing your mouth, opening your ears, and becoming genuinely curious about the person in front of you.